Sunday, October 17, 2010

Cancer X 2 = rethinking priorities

For the last month or so I have been somewhat MIA in the commenting department and for that I apologize profusely. Almost all of what has been published here at PPP was scheduled back in August and the first part of September. In hindsight, that was a wonderful plan as things here have put both me and The Big Guy on an emotional rollercoaster. It all came out of the blue so to speak.

About a month ago, TBG had a routine doctor's appointment but it turned out that a necessary biopsy was scheduled for two weeks ahead. My heart sank when he told me this as of course my imagination runs wild and I immediately fear the worst. Now I had two weeks to worry. After a week went by, I had to have an emergency visit with the gynecologist, (I'll spare you the gory details) had a biopsy done and 3 days before TBG's biopsy I was told that I have uterine cancer and a catscan would be necessary to ensure it hadn't spread to the lymph nodes.  3 days later TBG has his biopsy and then followup visit. Results - he too has cancer but a very slow growing one and nothing needs to be done asap. His doctor was wonderful and I feel very confident he will take excellent care of TBG.

Following Monday - my catscan was done and doctor's PA calls to tell me that lymph nodes look good so surgery would be done by my doctor here in local hospital on a Tuesday and check my calendar for the next several weeks. Phew! Sounds good, let's just get this minor annoyance over with. Still have to go back to doctor to set schedule for surgery. First off, he kept us waiting for an hour, breezed in the door and begins to read the catscan report. Hello, have you not discussed this with the PA? It certainly sounded that way when she called. He then proceeds to tell us the opposite of what the PA did. He doesn't like the catscan, would not "feel comfortable" doing the surgery just in case it had spread to the outer wall and lymph nodes need to be removed - that's "not his area of expertise". He tells me I need to go to Moffitt Cancer Center in Tampa.

Needless to say, TBG and I were flabbergasted. Now this is a whole other ball of wax! I had not prepared for this mentally or emotionally. What got my adrenaline going however is when I expressed my annoyance that the PA had called to tell me in essence this will be simple surgery done locally now he's telling me something else, he got on the defensive and told us how wonderful his PA is and that's she's been there for 15 years. Am I missing something here? Am I overly critical? sensitive? persnickety? Somehow, I don't think a PA should take it upon herself to give a patient that kind of info without checking with the doctor first as he makes the ultimate decision. IMHO, she should have just said they got the results back and here's your appointment time to discuss it with the doctor. Needless to say, I don't have too much confidence in him anymore. So sometime this week I will be trekking down to the cancer center to meet with the oncologist/surgical team.

I have several more posts scheduled and one on November 1st is a guest post from Susan at West of Mars. She has a really great post written and I hope you will get take the time to read what she has to say. She has an important charity message in the post. So for the most part, PPP will be on a brief hiatus and when I do return, it may just be as a reader of other blogs. I'm not too sure.

I've missed all of you and all your creative postings.  Once again, I apologize to all those bloggers whose posts I normally comment on. I just haven't had the heart to be floating around the blog world. Other than a few brief appearances at GoodReads, I've been just reading and thinking.

To those who have e mailed me to see if I had fallen off the face of the earth, I am so grateful for your caring and friendship. Several of you already know this and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for your kind words, thoughts, prayers and well wishes. You're all such a wonderful community!

37 comments:

  1. Stay strong, and I hope that the both of you will be ok *hugs*

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  2. Oh my goodness, what a trial! I'm so sorry to hear about your cancer X2. That's a lot to take. I hope you find a doctor that feels more confident, that then give YOU confidence and a peace of mind. It's good when they own up to not being able to do their utmost best for you, but it can be so scary. I actually have surgery this coming week to have the other half of my thyroid out that they didn't take out years ago. There is a lump there that I'm praying isn't cancer. My fears are not at the level that your fears are, but I feel your anxiety and pain. Best wishes! I know getting around the net to visit folks can be the LAST thing on your mind when your own health and life is in chaos. All my best to you and yours!

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  3. That's terrible news. Yes, you do need to stay strong. And know that all of us - all your blogger buddies - will be sending good thoughts and prayers your way.

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  4. What an earth-shaking experience for you all, including the horrible PA episode! I'm so glad you are going to go to an oncology center where presumably they know what is what! I will be sending prayers for you both!

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  5. I hope your surgery goes well and you heal quickly

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  6. Kaye, I'll be keeping you and TBG in my prayers. Sending you positive thoughts too. I hope the medical care in Tampa is far and away superior to the previous and you feel confident moving forward.
    Stay strong and I hope you feel all the support from your blogging friends.

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  7. I hope you both will be ok. Prayers for both of you from me.

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  8. Kaye: I am so saddened to read what you have been dealing with. My thoughts, and especially my prayers, will be with you now and in the future. Take all the time you need and focus on you. Just get better.
    CMash

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  9. Please don't worry about your blog. We are here sending you our thoughts and prayers and wish you only the healing best.

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  10. I am so sorry to hear you've been going through all of this! I've been out of town a lot lately and haven't known if I was coming or going, so I wasn't aware you've been missing. I hope all goes well for you - I'll keep you in my prayers.

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  11. I am so sorry that you and TBG are going through so much right now. It just doesn't seem fair. My thoughts are with you and your family right now, and I hope that your surgery goes well and your recovery is speedy.

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  12. Oh Kaye -- i am so so sorry that you have had to experience the ugly "c" word twice! I will keep you both in my thoughts and prayers. Please let us know how things are progressing as you have time and strength.

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  13. Love you!!! Hugs to you and TBG!!!!!!

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  14. Deep breaths - most worry is for nothing. Focus on what's important.
    And I'll be praying for you.

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  15. Kaye...I know you'll have the strength to get through this...keep your head up and it'll be over before you know it.

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  16. Praying for healing for you and your husband. My husband has also been diagnosed with cancer and like he says, take it one day at a time. Thinking of you.

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  17. Kaye, I'll be thinking of you! Take care of yourselves, the web will still be around later!

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  18. Just take care of yourself and TBG. I know that all of our thoughts and prayers are with you.

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  19. Thank you for sharing - I hope you continue to do so whenever you feel up to it. Cancer hits in so many different ways - but it is really a stealthy and controlling pain in the ass. It is evil and maddening so there is nothing wrong with feeling confused, angry, scared or stressed. If you have any sense of distrust or displeasure with your medical providers, find someone else. They will be guiding you through the toughest challenge in your life so you should have faith in their care. Our hopes are with you for quick treatment and clean results. Both of you.

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  20. Kaye, I am so sorry to hear your news. Cancer is definitely a pain in the butt. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your hubby at the moment, and I know that you will both get through these tough times and come out smiling. Big hugs x

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  21. Please know that my thoughts and prayers are with you both.

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  22. You let me know what else you need, Toots. I'm here -- heck, if you need someone to post gives here for you, I'll do it.

    I wish I could come hold your hand through this and tell you stupid jokes and show you pictures of Penguins who are truly hot without their shirts on...

    Know you're in my thoughts and prayers.

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  23. Kaye, be strong and know we are here for you. Even if online, we care.

    I've been battling cervical cancer for the last 20 years. Yours is more advanced but it is treatable and curable.

    I will pray that God keeps you safe and brings you out of this unscathed.

    (((HUGS)))

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  24. Oh Kaye, what a difficukt, troubling experience. I'm so sorry you are going through all of this right now. I think you are correct about the PA but what really matters is that you do what makes you feel comfortable and like you are getting the best care for you. The cancer center sounds like the right place.
    Hang in there, I'm thinking about you and TBG and keeping you in my prayers.

    ~ Amy

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  25. I so sorry to hear about all you hav ebeen going through. I keep both of you in my thoughts and prayers. I hope that you will find yourself in the hands of a wonderful oncologist/surgical team in Tampa. Stay strong!

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  26. SO sorry to hear about this! I've had some gyn scares of my own that have thankfully come to nothing, so I can only imagine how scarey this must be. AND to have your sig other going through this too ! Yikes. But there are a lot of us out there pulling for you. Good luck! I'm wishing you happy penguins!

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  27. Aren't friends awesome? I knew our fellow bloggers would be wonderful and supportive! I hope and pray all of that positive energy brings you healing powers!

    I can't even begin to tell you how much you mean to me. I'm so, so sorry you are both going through this and I wish there was something I could do for you. Please know I'm here for you, always.

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  28. Oh Kaye, I'm so sorry to hear of your troubles. I am keeping you and your husband in my thoughts. Please keep us posted.

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  29. Thanks for sharing all of this with us. I'm so sorry you've been going through all of this. Please know that you are in my prayers.

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  30. Thank you all for your wonderfully caring messages and prayers. Most of you who had return e mail, I answered by e but if it was a "no-reply" comment I just want to thank you for your thoughts and prayers. It means the world to me.

    Just a quick update, the Moffitt Center was so awesome at my appt. this past Wednesday and I know when I have the surgery done, I will be well taken care of. The doctor said the prognosis is good. I'll post later when I am up to it.

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  31. Good luck to you both. Try to be positive and I hope you're both on the mend very soon. Take care.

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  32. Kaye, Am soo sorry to hear about this. I have been away from my blog as well so i'm now getting a chance to catch up. I'll keep you in my prays. Stay strong and take care of yourself. We'll be here when you get back : )

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  33. Oh dear. I've been missing you but figured you just needed a break (which you do). I just hate that this is the reason why you are taking a break. I can't believe both of you are facing this at the same time. And I think your doctor's office messed up big time. This isn't a subject where you want different opinions like that.

    Thinking of you and saying prayers for both of you. Hang in there. I'm sure it is tough right now. Hugs.

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  34. Oh, Kaye!! (((hugs))) I have just come across this post and am so sorry for all you've been dealing with. I think the PA was WAAAY out of line, and you had every right to be upset.
    You and TBG are both in my thoughts and prayers. Hope all goes (has gone?) well....

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  35. Kaye, OMG....I am SO SORRY that I missed this post. A friend and fellow blogger is going through treatment for this now.

    Please keep us posted; prayer are in motion. (You can bet that PA had his butt chewed).

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